listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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