I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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