stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I want is dick and wine.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
