There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
