so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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