So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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