I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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