I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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