I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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