Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
