I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
