We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
