Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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