If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
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As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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