I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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