do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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