my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so much tequila, so little girl.
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