U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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