$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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