wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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