She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
