so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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