There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
sick fucks of a feather flock together
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
