I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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