why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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