If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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