Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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