ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sorry my hands just texted you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
