So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
