Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
