At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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