Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
