he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
