I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The air was thick with penises
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
