2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
