Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
