Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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