dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
false alarm. still invincible.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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