even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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