she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
