in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
