Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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