it wasn't lemon gatorade
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
