Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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