just tell him i said nine months
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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