You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
