what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
