is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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