i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
