i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This is the high leading the old right now
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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