I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
