We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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