She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
