Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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