Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
