She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
