What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wear drunk well.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
