Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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