so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
