I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
