was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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