My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
