Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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