yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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